Alive
by SenpaiGabby
Summary: One-Shot. Previously uploaded to my dA. Im sure that the title gives it away, but a brief encounter with Samus' emotions and feelings while thinking about the loss of her commander, her bestfriend, and maybe something more.


I stood standing there, staring out the window. I was fine missing him when I knew he was alive, but I felt a void once he was gone. It hurt more than anything I had ever endured. I felt so weak, so powerless. After what I had done to him he still cared about me. Even after I abandoned him, after all the things we had been through, after all he had done for me, and I just walked away.

I knew that I had more important things to do then fall in love. Galactic Saviors are not allowed to fall in love. 'Love makes you weak.' I always reminded myself. But now I wanted nothing more than to be able to feel that specific emotion. I felt so ashamed of it all my life. Most of the Chozo never showed this emotion. The only ones who ever showed love to me was Grandpa Bird and Gray Voice.

Grandpa Bird's love was obvious. Everyone knew how much he cared for me, I sometimes heard people criticizing him for it. That's why I never showed him much emotion around others. Gray Voice cared about me a ton. He just had a funny way of showing it. He trained the hell out of me, he said it was because he wanted me to be the best protector the universe had ever seen, but Grandpa Bird said it was really because he wanted me to do great things; he wanted me to reach my full potential. Some days I feel like I have fulfilled his wish, others I feel like he would be ashamed.

I guess the way Gray Voice showed how he cared for people rubbed off on me. I was the exact way to him. Just thinking of his name hurt me as I stood for what seemed like minutes but was only a matter of moments. I was so cold to him, but after he looked me in the eye, and let me go to Zebes to help, I respected him so much. He pulled me to be in his platoon as soon as he saw what I was really capable of. That's when my feeling grew from more than just respect for my commander. He understood me. Most people I met gave up on trying to understand me and just leave me as the enigma I was. He looked deeper. He tried to comprehend what all these knots and loops twined to create. And one day he did. But it was too late. I had made up my mind, it was time to be independent, I couldn't fulfill my legacy being held underneath the federation's thumb. But the way he looked at me before he found out, I knew that he had finally understood me. The last time I saw that look was through the doors of sector zero. It would be the last time I would ever see it.

I had never felt so alone before in my life. I stood there, cold, lifeless. He would never know the feeling I held in my heart for him. The feeling I had never felt for anyone else. A feeling I didn't know existed. The Chozo had a word for it, but they used it more in a joking manner. Mersia, meaning passion, to adore, to be completely and utterly fond of. But the human words didn't quite describe it. That word meant so much more. It meant that you would do anything for them because they fill your heart with hope, happiness, joy, and so much more. That was the only word that described the feeling I felt for him.

I would never have that feeling again and I would miss it so much. As tears swelled in my eyes, I raised a hand before of me. I tucked my fingers into my palm and stretched my thumb out, but this time, my hand wasn't upside down. My thumb clearly pointed up towards the sky, a thing I had never done for him. I saw a shadow of a thumb, this time it down, the opposite of mine. It was coming from someone I couldn't see. All I was able to see was the blue and white uniform. My heart stopped. As the face immerged from the darkness casted by the wall I felt no emotion. I thought I was going insane, that my mind was playing dirty tricks on me.

"Adam…" I said quietly as possible, almost as a question.

"Hello, Lady." He said back to me. There was no denying it any longer. I may have had a good imprint of him in my memory, but I could never perfectly remember the silver glow in his gray eyes, or the horse, yet somehow gentle tone in his voice. I darted toward him, clearing the few feet between us in a millisecond. I found myself in his arms as he held me up. I stared into his eyes for a second before pressing my lips against his. I didn't know how he was alive, how he was already here, or how he looked so picture perfect, but I didn't care. I had him back, and that was all that mattered. I felt my heart filled with those feelings again, and as we parted, as I looked into his eyes, I saw that look of understanding, that look of care.

The look that showed me that he felt the impossible emotion I felt too. And I never wanted to see him any other way. I never wanted to see him and not think Merisa. Because to me, Merisa was the only word that described the feeling he gave me, and I can only hope I give him the same.


End file.
